The Dice Man

The following is an excerpt from the bizarre, hilarious and ponderous 'The Dice Man'. I'm just 11 or so Chapters in and loving it. I realise that giving you this out of context may spark confusion...that's why I've done it. A full review will shortly follow:

A Single Man - Directed by Tom Ford

This is the first review I've written for a while, and for that matter the first blog for nearly two weeks, the shame! So I thought I'd just throw myself back into the mix; I saw 'A Single Man' last week and thought it worthy of a cheeky mind splurge. Also, I've attempted to intermittently litter this one with visual treats thus easing your passage from beginning to end. Please Enjoy Responsibly.

A Single Man is the aesthetically wonderful directorial debut of fashion designer and British aficionado Tom Ford. An adaptation based on the novel of the same name by Christopher Isherwood, Empire have praised it ‘a potent cocktail of style and substance,’ and I’m inclined to agree.

Set during the height of the Cuban Missile Crisis, an obvious time of shared panic, the line of our film follows a more personal and detached story as dignified British Professor George Falconer (Colin Firth) struggles to maintain a resolute melancholia on this not-so-typical day. Ford casts Firth for his lead role, which is unsurprising given his especial adoration for all things British, nevertheless the juxtaposition of the Englishman and lady, Julianne Moore, in 60's California goes some way to compliment the theme of self-imposed isolation, though I imagine this was more thoroughly worked on paper.

Ford chooses an intimate cast of delectable talent (mostly Brits of course). The unmistakable Julianne Moore, plays the ‘best-friend’ in a more travelled sense of the word; as a divorcee her lonely character parallels Firth’s own, they share a history. They also share an affinity for the stylistic, almost like male and female versions of the same mould, but not quite. Ford contrasts their tastes to great affect, Moore’s character being fantastically bang-on 60’s trend, her home is a luxurious and indulgent palace while Firth’s own abode is dignified, refined and choice of taste. Her constant insistence that she’s passed her ‘sell by date’ is evidence of the ‘substance’ that Empire were talking about; the characters in A Single Man have real human depth, they’re vulnerable. Without negating from Ford’s excellent presentation, for me, this is evidence to support the worth in the book-to-film route.

Rising British star Nicholas Hoult, who you may recognise from Skins Seasons 1&2 and About a Boy with Hugh Grant, plays a budding force of nature individual and a beguiling young temptation for Firth’s character. More than this the character is extraordinarily perceptive and offers our professor the hope of intellectual and spiritual intimacy once more. One of Hoult’s first Hollywood outings, he shows great potential and carries the role admirably with suitable sultry.

Despite the films many merits, it's Firth's devotion to the role that makes the film outstanding. In particular the scene where Falconer receives the 'sorry for your loss' phone call, Firth portrays every ounce and millisecond of instantaneous and delayed, devastating grief. I haven’t seen such a committed emotional performance from Firth before, this film really is a showcase of his great ability. Duly he was awarded a Bafta.

‘Style and substance’ you remember. Well it’s not just the costume design and character performances that excel. As almost everything he touches, Ford’s cinematography is enchanting and brilliant. He uses slow-fade colour pops to indicate emotion and the odd burst of slow motion, both techniques give the film a synaesthetic dimension and enhance the viewer’s empathy for Falconer's grief stricken state. Each new scene is fresh and thought provoking, some seem entirely detached from the course of the plot and these offer unique, personal insights. Some scenes are vibrant, where others are cold but never are they dull.

Ford propels A Single Man by allowing his actors to exist within the roles, he extends them breadth in which they can unfold their dimensions; he takes his time. Allowing character experiences to dictate plot and not vice versa and by adeptly infusing this experiences with rich imagery and style Ford has, so early on in his cinematic career, established himself as a screen-craft poet.


Go on then...let's have a trailer...honestly though, the music is not reflective of the film whatsoever and it's the only 'fail' of the film:

Eight to be stood under that tree

No, it isn't every small child's ultimate fantasy, a house-size portion of candy floss; more like every kid and adult's worst nightmare. During the recent floods in Pakistan millions of normally land-dwelling spiders have been evicted to higher ground, yes mother-nature is a fairly shit landlady sometimes. Horrifying as this first appears, our vertically ambitious creepy crawlies have not only managed to adapt in remarkable and rapid style but have in fact solved one of the largest problems in flood affected areas, Malaria. These normally unobtrusive creatures are now a blessing in disguise as their newly let properties act as giant nets, devastating mosquito numbers and thus the spread of one of the more annoying infectious diseases to affect Tropical and Sub-Tropic regions. Still though...put you off tree climbing for life.

On Steve Jobs

I'd like to think I don't believe in getting overly-sentimental about the death of someone I don't know, just because there's a lot of media hype. Steve Jobs however, was a great facilitator to men; he was a technological humanitarian, he contributed by making his unique impact.

I own an iphone and a Macbook, and throughout the last week a SJ's tribute has been steadfastly posted on the Apple homepage. Unfortunately if you live under a rock aka a Blackberry then you may not know or care. Statistically two to three people die a second in this world, that's 259,200 people a day according to my not infallible maths, and a quick look at the PeterRussell World Clock. What I'm trying to say is that if you live by numbers the ending of SJ's life is insignificant. What a horribly fatalistic line of argument and way to live you life that would be..

Alternatively what I'm suggesting is to champion and rekindle an attitude that seems to be fading in our era of get-famous-quick; there's absolutely nothing wrong in being sentimental when someone genuinely great is gone.

SJ's legacy - to affect change and facilitate people's creativity- is evident within the products that we see all around us. Jobs made it his mission to make an impact and he found his inspiration in knowing how precious, impermanent and fragile life is, this poignant ethos is what strikes a chord with me and he sums it up most adeptly at the Stanford Commencement Speech in 2005.

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." ~ 

Evocative stuff; go forth and produce creative people of Mancunia!

On Lisa Hannigan

This lovely lady is the Irish singer, songwriter Lisa Hannigan. Once apart of Damien Rice's band and having performed at Glastonbury both solo and with Rice, I'm assured they had something especially strong. However, Hannigan felt compelled to tread her own creative path and began the revival of her solo career in 2009 with album 'Sea saw'. Her Norah Jones-esque husky melodies will have you soothed into bed double-quick, either with a cup of hot coco or a hottie named Coco...maybe that's just me. With bundles of wholesome offbeat charm and enough stoic warmth to brighten even those darker days her new album 'Passenger' arrives just in time for Winter.

Catch her near you at St. Phillip's Church, Salford NOV 25th.

Mystery link..

nyan.cat

The Rambling Brilliance of Mr Kelly

Falafel falafel erh…do you know how gibbons move throughout he trees so quick. It's because they have a ball and socket joint which gives them so much more manoeuvrability. And they do on occasion have accidents because they can get a bit cocky sometimes. But if you ever see a gibbon actually going through the trees you'd be very impressed; It's a sight to behold. I've always considered it to be one of the natural wonders of the world. Why can't an evolutionary trait be considered a natural wonder; in fact that should be a natural wonder above all else…because it is nature. Because what we've built is not necessarily natural. So yeah I think a Gibbon moving through the trees is a marvel.  

Do you know the Mayfly larvae has one of the fastest reactions of the Animal Kingdom? It has like a concertina jaw that zips out and catches krill. Krill I think is an ocean fairing society. Did you know bats always turn left, when bats leave a cave they always turn left.

Did you know all the baby elephants in Chester Zoo are in-bred? Oh yeah! They're all doing it. And possibly, Chester Zoo is the only zoo that has managed to drown an aquatic animal?! Sealions are alright, you know they're all right…until you actually get to know one. Giraffes don't make any noise, they're incapable of making noise. Apart from grunts. And the Giraffe; it's actual greatest risk of dying is when they drink water because they have to do the splits and often, more often that you think they can't pull their legs back together…and they die.

Do you know it's actually funny because people come up to us, 'You know your cheetahs, they should be allowed to run free.' It only has a 40% success rate when they hunt. And while they hunt they borderline heart attack. Technically he'd only have 2 out of 5 kills and he'd nearly have a heart attack so i'm sure he'd quite happily have a piece of meat just thrown in for him.

Joule's

Chances are most of you will never of heard of this charming little brewers tucked away in deepest Shropshire and may never even sample its traditional nectars, but it has in essence been around for hundreds of years. 'First Brewed by Monks' their simple slogan is a proud testament to a brand rich in heritage. Sadly in the 70's and at the height of its local popularity Joules was bought out by Bass and swiftly, unceremoniously decommissioned. Fortunately one of the original recipes for the ale survived and just last year the Joules brand was resurrected. 

It's hard to say what's most adorable about this quintessentially English ale, it has so many quirks. For me the trademarks, illustrations and vintage posters alone are a brander's wet dream but this humble ale never had any commercial ambitions or sights set further than the local pub or their heartland of Shropshire. If you were thinking of sampling said tastiness you'll be hard-pressed to find a tap North of Chester. To see such dedication of locality is rare and is at the core of Joules' unostentatious brand values. Joules in short is a champion to the tradition of the local pub, of sitting around with good mates, a good pint and good banter.

Joules brew three separate ales: the Slumbering Monk...nutty, malty and mildly caramel...my favourite, then there's the traditional Pale Ale made from the age-old recipe and the more commercial, continental Blonde.

For local watering-holes or more information direct your attention here: 

www.joulesbrewery.co.uk

what the FCUK?!

Massive shout out to Miss Roberts for bringing this one to my attention. Simply take a look at their shopping bags and you'll realise French Connections have struck a chord of genius with their recent rebrand as champions of the utterly ridiculous and wonderfully bizarre. This advert however - which you may not see on TV - takes it to the next level without missing a single sartorial beat.

Warning: Actual Size

 Just thought I'd dedicate this gargantuan photo to my beloved one and only pair of brogues.

What's in an (adopted) name?

Recently I've been hunting for a decent pseudonym for my photography work, cos i'm proper artsy n shiiit, I was looking for something which would match my 'style' and at the same time embellish it, sort of like a boast. This got me thinking that aliases can actually be pretty tactical and why for some reason...I WANT ONE! A stage-name for instance offers a sneaky opportunity to manifest a part of ourselves trying to get out (hmm, sounds rapey) and inherent in that a turning point. And so all kinds of maniacal excitement for one's potential success! Murr...I'm Batman, murr!!

However, it's not all villain snubbing prestige, there are dangers associated with the alias. Pseudonyms are after all a rebrand and when adopting a new name one must be calculating. Well a pseudonym really is just the same as any name or any brand...you have to guard both your image through appropriate behaviour and gauge how people perceive you.

You've only to look at the recent trend of reactionary ads wheeling out values such as 'good', 'simple' and 'honest' to see that people these days are sceptical of brands. Is it that people are fed up of brand names because they represent a facade? Maybe a little bit. But I think what's more accurate is that people distrust lying brands - when the product falls short of the promise. But, and this 'but' is slightly bigger picture...can the way people feel about one lying brand cause a distrust of brands in general, irrespective of portrayed values and with so many shifting brand USP's and brand 'values'...don't brands just come across as conniving? Yes and no..

Look at Dannone and Unilever, the corporations behind these master-brands proudly and religiously label each and every product ad with their name, the brand is a promise of integrity, the giving of one's word. This consistency of values from product to product allows Unilever to enjoy a clever brand-glow which it is now starting to redistribute through the labelling of newer products. So a pseudonym in the same way doesn't have to be a bad thing, it mustn't be something to hide behind but to proudly stand beside. What if as an individual I had many hobbies with multiple pseudonyms? As long as the core identity remained intact I think the diversity would the whole. What kind of schizophrenic balances that kind of shit? Most of us..

Essentially what I'm saying is it's nice to see a bit of consistency; fill a name with the expectation of good things and people will remember you for delivery. Don't muck about with some flashy, all-singing all-dancing super name. Pick something real and effective. In ironic conclusion, I'll probably adopt the photographer name Night Phox or Original Flavour...something dead contrived like, you know why? Cos I gots the goods, I gots the game yo! That or I'll just bail on the name as it goes up in smoke.

She's wet behind his ears

Borderlands...1...'Tardy' is not the word..sorry.

If like me you're one of those gamers who unfortunately has to pay their own rent, I believe we're called 'adult' then you won't have...Oh F-it, there's no excuse, if you're into your games then you'll most likely be more than aware of and completed Borderlands around 2 years ago. I however, am not like you...I brew games, I play them when and only when everyone else has moved onto the next big thing; they call me the 'anti-cool'. Never the less with Borderlands 2 looming and lurking in the distance there is still some merit to be savoured from this most tardy review.

For me, snobbily sifting through the mass of releases at arms length is the only way to deal with gaming in 'adulthood'. In general though I'm hot and cold towards my gaming, like one of those new oven/fridges, you know?! Anyway... Fallout 3 for example, I've been playing it for around a year and a half, never having bitten the bullet to complete the motherscrapper, a credit to the game yes, a discredit and shame upon my family? Mostly I'm biding my time for Mass Effect 3, the game to end all games, and possibly the universe. Borderlands was supposed to be just a stop-gap for me, a fix until greener pastures. But, I'm really loving it...

If you're one of those 21st Century gamers that's been casually suckered into shooter gaming through Call of Duty then in my view Borderlands will serve as an ideal next step. Diversity of gameplay? Let me break it down into terms digestible by the average male (that's you sucker): imagine for a minute that Call of Duty is Megan Fox...she is 'quite' hot, but has been for a while and she's become like soo boring...what does she really do?! Not much. Now, if I will be allowed to continue on this protracted, female metaphor consider that Borderlands is...Angelina Jolie...that bitch got bare kids, she can definitely cook and clean AND she fine, see what I've attempted to do here?

Now the comic-style graphics may not immediately be for everyone, but they set Borderlands apart from all the hyper-realistic trash prevalent in most games today and you may just learn to love them for their rough and ready simplicity. In terms of an immersive experience you couldn't ask for more, with over a dozen separate maps, progressively impressive weapons and tangible character skill developments this game just snowballs into awesomeness. Better still, played as a two-player co-op you'll be laughing for hours at the chaos you can cause fighting hordes of beasties in the scorched and mountainous terrain.

With just the right amount of tangible story progression in and amongst the myriad of side-quests, I can't really think if there's any room or need for improvement when the 2nd comes out.

So, if you have for some reason not played Borderlands yet...God, where have you been living, under a rock or something?!...grab it now and complete it just in time for Borderlands 2, which is expected some time from April 2012 onwards and which from early look-sees promises even more riotous ruckus.

Poking fun at the Competition

Sky Tagline: "Believe in Better"

Virgin Media Print Ad: "We 'believe' you've been bettered"

Empire of the Desert Ants

Desert ants, who'd have them?! Well as it turns out the Arizonans. If you're intrigued by the many intricacies of the natural world, like some bug-eyed ten year old, then this 'little' documentary will be right up your gravel strewn street.

Empire of the Desert Ants is simply fascinating. Stylistically narrated by Andy Serkis as some sort of socio-historical dramatisation, you'll feel like you're watching the ant-ics of the Romans or some long lost civilisation. But the narration itself is just the final touch on a truly epic endeavour. Most impressive is the remarkable macro videography, which spans a whopping eight year period in order to cover the lifespan of a single 'super-power' ant colony, consider this and you can begin to understand the immense dedication, artistry and meticulous science invested in this film. I've consciously chosen the world 'film' because it watches as such: the story arc of conception and destruction, the power struggles, the different characters of ant classes... It's all there, enjoy.

More than a Hair type, less than a Human

Oookay...so you're an individual...erm, on a conveyor belt with a plastic mannequin smile. Shouts individuality and personality to me. Ah but it's okay, they searched and searched for hours and finally discovered the perfect, underground electro beat to really send the message of 'be different, be an individual'. For me, the best part is our penultimate shot; our 'more than a hair type' woman truly stands out from the crowd with the latest 'blue-steel'. Where's the storming out of the factory pay-off?! Where's the defiant personality, oh wait, it's the VO5 factory... VO5 have their messages all mixed up here. Poor effort.

In truth this could of been spun to work, change up the acting of our leading lady, add a bit of humour through her confusion and shock at being placed onto a mannequin body? Still though, weird.

Shining a light for Charity Ads

'We are all born to dream, born to achieve, born to discover... Some are born to be the fastest, the greatest or simply the bestest. But while some are born to grow old and wise, many more will never grow up at all.'

The words in themselves are plain and cliched, if they were the narrative of a careers ad we'd have switched off. But, and this is a credit to our female narrator, she delivers these simple lines with such well-weighted poetic tone and rhythm, managing to stir something really contemplative, a thing which all charity ads hope to achieve but many struggle to do. The combination of this child-like "bestest" yet aspirational dialogue against the positive images of children smiling at role-models sends an optimistic message for me. Rather than ramming a desperate plea down our throats we're almost made to put ourselves in their shoes.

The final bit 'many more will never grow up at all' is very clever; the bulk dialogue builds you up onto a positive plane and then casts all those dreams, all that childhood potential down into doubt. You can't help but feel the cruelty of it and at the same time you don't feel guilt tripped into these feelings.

Concrete Circus

'Breath-taking', 'eye-opening' and 'heart-stopping' are a number of lazy cliche's I could adopt to describe this far from disappointing watch; all of which would fail to do justice this remarkable documentary, and luckily my propensity for cliches and substance of this programme are in no way aligned.

Concrete Circus examines four of urban sub-culture's most enigmatic pass-times: Parkour, Trail Biking, Flat-Land BMX and Freestyle Skateboarding. By documenting, in a very human way, the craft of five young British pioneers Concrete Circus follows the progress of process as each individual pushes himself to accomplish their second online viral showcase more ground-breaking than before.

'Sport' would be an inadequate definition of exactly what these urban athletes actually do, and that is the shifting nature of these break-through entities. Even skateboarders flinch when you try to pin them to terms like 'extreme', how dated does that sound?! And that's part of the beauty of this documentary. Although each 'sport' has its differences, it's blatantly clear that these individuals are united by their need for personal expression and, refreshingly, unpretentious straightforward fun. If you've ever hit the streets for long periods of time this one will appeal to you, and I don't mean curb-crawling in the way you're thinking..

Unfortunately the entire documentary isn't up on 4OD, why I can't tell you, but keep checking though. Here instead is my favourite of the four short-films produced.

Enjoy.

That 'Yes' Moment

Love this advert; it's soo good to once again feel that 'yes' moment from watching an ad. The creatives responsibe don't even need to generate much of a build up, a few brief scenes of the band promoter receiving indifference from the mostly disinterested general public are enough to strike a pang of recognition with the audience's own attitude. Let's be honest, a large majority of us nurture an embarrassingly well-developed indifference and distrust towards the homeless, street charity volunteers and others around us in our cities. This advert turns that underlying attitude on its head. By championing optimism and denoucing cynicism, ideals which naturally appeal to the young and idealistic, through both the dialogue and the drama this Bulmers ad becomes a great example of using a resonating brand sentiment to lead the way into the hearts of a target audience.

The Tree of Life

This was my first visit to Cornerhouse, Manchester's premier destination for all things visually artsy. The Tree of Life, the most recent offering from acclaimed writer/director Terrence Malik is the story of a 1950's post-war American family struggling to deal with life and each other.

Brad Pitt's role as the stern and emotionally constipated father, a breed which seems to have all but died out, was originally to be played by the late great Heath Ledger. Being the key benefactor to the film Pitt decided to step into the lead role himself and although it would of been wonderful to see Ledger adapt to such a character for me Pitt carries the fish-out-of-water father so well, not without some help from a powerfully posed underbite.

Lacking a clear linear plot or entirely cohesive set of events, many viewers will be forgiven for feeling frustrated at times; Tree of Life is prone to the odd 20 minute tangent. The mother's drawn out, grief-laden introspective narratives for instance, which accompanied by some of the film's most beautiful imagery deal with the nature of existence, meaning of life and God, do leave the viewer feeling cast adrift or bemused rather than empathetic or philosophical. Given, Malik is trying to convey the emotional state of grief but with only a superficial character development of the middle son, who's lost, I can't help feel these contemplations are contrived. Much of Malik's efforts are focused on capturing pivotal snapshots like memories in this way, and this gives the audience a feeling of drifting through each secular individual's emotional consciousness rather than watching a family collective.

This may leave you for a large portion of the film clawing to get into something more concrete and entire characters seem to only scratch the surface like the mother, Sean Penn's character and the youngest brother.

Thankfully Malik compensates the film's abstract, introspective sections with day to day life scenes and some good dialogue, such as the dinner table scene when the middle son tentatively mirrors the father's abusive behaviour, the scene follows:

Father to eldest son: 'Can you only speak to me if you have something important to say...and don't speak, just nod or shake your head. Did you have a good day...answer me..'

Eldest Son shakes and nods.

Middle Son to father: 'Shut up.'

Father: 'What did you say to me?!'

Middle Son: 'Please? Shut up...please?'

This one telling response beautifully encapsulates so much of the family's dynamic and the films key themes of fatherhood and childhood. Most definitely the Tree of Life is to be seen on the big scene, even if it's just to be left feeling a little dazed and confused. For me, a second watch is order, if only for the pretty pictures. 7/10

The right sort of 'over-the-top' ad

Yeah but it's not flying...is it though?! Nicely opportunistic though; grabbing a prominent spot at the centre of attention as it undergoes renovation. Not feeling it in that red, looks better in blue. And, the penny's just dropped; I've just done yet ANOTHER car ad blog, FML. What's the opposite of car blogs? Bicycle, walking...do a walking ad? Okay, challenge is set, i'll find a walking-esque ad.

First Blog for ages...please read. Much love

Brother's early efforts were banter-esque...they avoided the options of a) quirky, odd village charm b) Traditional English Summertime in the country c) side of the road 5 in the morning, no where to go...wait, they don't do adverts for Frosty Jacks, that shit sells itself.

Essentially the motivation behind this advert was to reinvigorate and re-enthuse the target audience. And as it's Summer they just HAD to go with a Bacardi-esque party scene to reflect current seasonal experiences. Truth be told, adverts for alcohol this time of year on TV...I think are a waste of time. Everyone's outside. At Hideout on the Island of Pag there were inflatable Absolut bottle...person size..the branding was on point and it was everywhere in the clubs, fair dos considering it's the first year on the island...massive brand pushes. I just that real brand experiences happen on the ground...for instance..Jaggermeisters.. probably not the way you spell it haha They do shots in test tubes....sooo coool...especially when you buy a round of 12...now that's a brand connection.  

Broken promises...

Crossing the pond for this week's instalment of what has now become a car advertising blog. The following ads were produced by David and Goliath, a creative agency which opened shop in the US with offices in LA but now have secondary bases in London and Frankfurt. Both of these ads are for the dubiously named KIA Optima; one of them works well within the confines of its own nature and the other droops off into not much. See if you can guess which is which.

The tagline 'One Epic Ride' is apt; the action shows the car in a light which does exactly what it says on the tin. But with such a large budget to play with I imagine it's all to easy to go for the big flashy execution rather than teasing out a more conceptually creative ad, and after all this is an American ad. But, and I say 'but' again, it's nice to see agencies run away with themselves capturing a spirit of giddy, simplistic excitement which is what's most important when you're trying to hook the potentially car-buying-family-life's-pecking-my-head,-I-wish-I'd-carried-on-surfing-male. Plus the wheels are cool.

This one was also given 5 stars by y'all YouTubers in the US. Well it's beautifully cinematographic, any suggestions for a shorter word welcome, in a similar way to the first its fantastical story aims to capture the imagination and I think it does it in a more emotive way by using the boy. Details I love: the Narnia style wardrobe right at the start, the Space 1999 style rocket ship at 0:15 and the kids model town at 0:19. Particularly I like the fact that certain fragments of the lad's dream are present in the bedroom reality; nice attention to detail showing reality inspires dreams, which is the central theme highlighted by the end VO.

And it's exactly the summarising VO which irks me most about this ad: 'No one ever dreamt of driving a mid-size sedan, until now.' I think there are a number of things which don't wash:

1) The technical language jars against the fantastical tone set by the video, maybe that's due to the.. 2) The American voice...okay not specifically because he's American, it's the sound of his voice...please don't make me go into detail regarding varieties of American accent...like, totally don't go there. 3) 'Until now' which makes me question who's having the dream. Is the boy dreaming of being a grown up so he can drive his dad's car?! Because let me tell you and this is the truth... no boys ever dream about driving mid size sedans. OR has this man's wonderfully surreal, adventure dream simply reverted horribly into his actual reality?

Okay so I'm doing another one, And What?

Here then is what I promise to be the concluding chapter of my impromptu mini-series on car ads. Has this piqued interest in car ads been caused by some murky subconscious lust or a result of the simple abundance of car ads? Well perhaps the former but to simplify it into saying there are a lot of car ads wouldn't be fair. There have been some visually remarkable cars ads recently.

This next one has been on TV a while now, so you and I have had ample chance to see it. Despite this it's not one I immediately sat up and took notice of, if anything I maybe ignored it at first thinking 'Oh here we go again, another tenuous link effort to piggy back on Star Wars.' But on examination I rather like it, and judging by the hit rating on Youtube so do quite a lot of you.

This has to be one of, if not my favourite adoption of the Star Wars franchise. The videography is spot-on, contributing enough dramatic irony to make most parents chuckle. Target audience laughing? For the right reason? Win.

My enduring feeling is the ad stands up so well to repeat watches; almost every scene makes you laugh but there are those subtler elements as well. Among my favourite: the mother's part bemused, part concerned facial expression at 0:26, the slow-zoom onto the baby doll's face at 0:19 and mini-darth's stumbling rebuff of his father's return at 0:37. There are a few more but I won't spoil it too much. Small in size but large in performance, the charms of this budding star not only make the ad unequivocally clear this is a family car.

Whether the timing of this ad is relevant is my only qualm; can you remember when the last Star Wars film was released? In a galaxy far, far away...long, long ago...that's for sure. Never the less Star Wars is an entity ALL children should be relentlessly exposed to, forever. This ad makes Curry's gratuitous, tasteless exploitation of two of cinema's finest... R2D2 and C3PO... look like the fail it was and rightly so.

I wonder where I found the energy to write this one..

Two car ads in a row? Perhaps I'm developing a bit of a thirst for some petrol based autonomy (a car) or perhaps i'm running out of steam...Just like the cars on the production line at Renault Z.E (Zero Emissions)

What a wonderful little ad this is. How strangely endearing yet pathetic are the petrol run appliances in this would-be-world? With their chug-chugs and splutters, this ad envisions how sad and cumbersome our lives will be if we never give up petrol. Of course it's all an exaggeration but a necessarily profound one at that. It tells not so much of the impracticalities of such a reliance on petrol, petrol in truth couldn't be more convenient with stations dotted freely around, but stirs feelings of disappointment in such a stale existence (mild sepia tones).

It's a mission statement rather than a sales pitch and in that sense I think this ad works nicely. Sort of a prerequisite; there'd be no use in just pitching the new cars without first instilling the need for them.

The concluding voice over 'you already switch to electricity for many things' could do with being more optimistic. Perhaps change the 'you' to 'we've', it's a small matter for picky buggers but hey. I'm a big advocate of the 'future-now' tone of voice rather than the 'placid future-angel/you think you're in paradise but we're actually going to harvest your organs tone of voice) We'll give them time to anglicise it though, as it's running first in Italy and France.

The power of a good demo

VW's new 'Amarok' AKA 'I'm-a-rock'

There's nothing like a simple demonstration to straightforwardly prove a point. A tried and tested method, a demonstration is one of the most directly effective ways to show off your product's selling point. For adverts though it's usually indicative of half-hearted creative thinking. In this case however Iris, the agency behind the idea, conjure up a well-calculated display of the USP 'Power,' something which you'd have to commit a fair 'whack' of intellectual 'oomph' or 'ooosh' to before coming up with an original idea.

Although this one's highly staged you can't say it's an ad exaggeration, they've gone to great lengths to create a real-life albeit not everyday demonstration. The visual imagery of the chimney coming down really 'hammers' the message of POWER home, although it would of been nice to see more debris, and hopefully gets the adrenaline going in every muscle-car, meat head American wannabe on our fine British roads...or those of us who own a boat.

Say love...isn't it about time we took down the garden shed?

From taboo to taboo

Blast! No Youtube video for this one, you'll all just have to keep your eyes peeled. The ad in question is for 'Diagnosis: Live from the clinic' which starts soon on Channel 4. Featuring a young man, home alone who turns on his laptop, drops his pants and lies down on the sofa opposite, presumably for a little pre-watershed DIY. At which point the resident Dr. Christen Jessen appears onscreen to assess our young fellow's affliction.

I like this ad because by placing one taboo next to another it creates a comparison; is he really going to wank?! Oh no, it's okay, he's only acknowledging the topic of his own sexual health...albeit in a rather fruity fashion. Despite its low-budget execution, the ad is effective because it has a good idea at the core. It manages to downplay the taboo of talking about sexual health; as a viewer you approve of him asking for help instead of masturbating before our eyes. This ad is wonderfully light hearted and gently pokes fun at a subject which is rarely approached.

What is Success?

Adverts like the following really nark me off; broadly promising the enhancement of your individuality, they're a dime a dozen these days. Honestly, who sees these ads and thinks 'yes, finally I can be the creative I've always wanted to be!' True creatives do like new toys and gizmos but when you get down to brass tax I think it's what's most convenient that helps you get your stuff done, and that tends to be what you have already. If you can't be creative with limited resources then you're not creative..surely?

Two things here get my back up: the pseudo-existentialist mumbo jumbo and the cruddy copy. It moves from 'Success doesn't need a desk' to 'Success goes big,' there no continuation of argument. The assertions made by each bit of copy come across to me as shallow at best and bullshit at worst. They don't seem like the kinds of things real successful people would feel or believe..they're stab in the dark arbitrary assumptions. Take a look see.

The idea: 'success' is relative to the individual. To me this waters down the potency of what success actually is. How can 'success' be you doing anything...even if it is your thang...diving in snow, eating popcorn or hailing a taxi, sitting on a train writing a text?! How is that success? To me, this is not a depiction of success...it's a depiction of a somewhat fulfilled lifestyle, if you have no aspirations. Which, ok, to some people is success...Being happy to be alive everyday. When you put it like that it sounds like a great concept. Doesn't it? Except it's nonsense. 'Success' to me is something that has to be worked out..something that in its absence we feel empty or unworthy and in its presence or upon its realisation we are truly lifted. Success is achievement and so to me 'being happy everyday' as 'success' is a far stretch of the imagination but doesn't ring true. Call me a hard ass and a kill joy but that's how I feel.

Always Read the Sneaky Print

This one may be short as I've pretty much dragged myself up and out of bed at 8.00am through the desire for a pre-work photo hunt. 'Always read the small-print' that's what they say isn't it? But these days who does, apart from me of course; due to some deep-seated obsessive compulsive desire to increase knowledge therefore dominance over you all I read manuals, books, magazines and even impromptu street-side flyers, those lowliest and most unloved of the promotional ... (it's not a disorder...honest.)

What's deliciously cunning of the inconspicuous, unobtrusive 'small print' is its total ability to be forgotten and unobserved. So do most of us either trust adverts to not be misleading or false or simply believe in this day and age they can't be due to bodies such as the ASA? I think it's most likely we just can't be bothered. One such sneaky-print offender I recently spied.

In truth I was actually hoping to find the 118 500 ad with the dude precariously hovering above presumably his girlfriend's fish tank before he durrr...drops his shaver in said tank. Do you know the one? Of course you do. Well, not only do I hate the ad and believe the service utterly redundant in the days of Google, Yell apps and under the shadow of 118 118 but think it's so cheeky that BT, a prominent telecommunications and internet service 'providings' giant should have the cheek to offer what is seemingly a helpful service at such an extortionate rate! Thus ends today's short yet vocally elaborate and somewhat overly wordy rant. Wish me luck snapping.

Not the chronic

Dear devoted blog-disciples, apologies for this most recent week long intermission; I'm sure you've all been hovering your cursors eagerly over refresh for my latest post? Never fear..here it is. The reason for this gaping hole of critical nourishment has been my reengaged preoccupation with actually making some damn ads or at least trying. Which, coincidentally brings me onto the reason and subject for this particular post.

So the competition brief I've been working on..although I'm sure I'm maybe not supposed to talk about it if i'm working on it.. is one for Hewlett Packard. Has anyone seen the new ad with Dr Dre? If not cast your eyes over this spacey shocker.

Now there's some fairly legitimate criticism I could raise here, most of which I'm sure you can see for yourself so I won't bother mentioning. However, I'm frustrated for another reason...and it's with HP. The HP brief (half-heartedly recycled for two years no doubt...please God don't let them see this) was put forward by a major advertising and marketing body, who for my sake what remains nameless. In a nutshell it's aim was to place HP tech in the forefront of creative minds as high-performance and cool. With specific consideration of competing with Apple; a tall order.

Apple's Macbooks are everywhere..the most visibly present example that comes to mind is DJ's. Nowadays every single DJ I can think of uses a Macbook.. so, and I hate to say this as a budding adman, it's nigh on impossible to compete on this level as it is. This ad fails to sufficiently push what sounds like a really good feature and majorly wastes an opportunity to borrow some organic credibility from Dre; the mask, a spaceship..does Dre produce dance, is that what he's renowned for? Are you serious?!

With regards to actually finding a solution to the problem of pushing HP into the forefront of creative minds I'm still thinking, and imagine I will be doing so for sometime. But I guarantee I'll come up with something, anything better than this. Whatever HP pull out of the bag it's going to have to be far far more savvy.

'And Yet It Moves'

Alright so I've been meaning to do this next blog for a while now. What at first I thought would be a time-buster has turned out to be an insanely addictive and wonderfully weird 21st Century platform with a twist, that's a 90 degree twist to be specific. 'And Yet It Moves' is available on Wii but I've purchased the Mac version which I'm finding so enjoyable. It's a physics puzzle game with the basic premise of manipulating gravity to manoeuvre your paper thin character through the levels. The levels look stunning in their makeshift composition: with photos of real leaves, stones and trees torn into shape to make up the ground, trees and other environment. The soundtrack is also another point of worthy note; eerie noises and melodies accompany every movement and change in your surroundings making for a quirky, surreal and strangely beautiful experience.

The trailer ad doesn't let this game down one little bit. Striking in its visual simplicity, the white living room scene perfectly portrays the quirky charm of 'And Yet It Moves' and at the same time captures the sense of involvement with every frenzied tumble. Great all round little game.

Please affix your message

Continuing on my hunt for client to customer communications I found this lovely piece appended to the wall outside 'Sovereign Point' brrrp brrrp, massive. My personnel feeling is its creator has adopted intentional misspelling with a view to comically affix the message to our mammaries. This man is a keen-eyed copywriting guinness from whom we can all learn a thing or two.

In sincerity though, we don't all have the benefit of a good education so perhaps I shouldn't be so scathing. At least Mr Shop Keep has taken the initiative, right? Well it just so chanced that the youths who drew my attention to the sign revolted in typical teen fashion, i.e throwing litter. So be mindful of your target audience my young padawans.

So then what charming witticism would I have chosen? Nothing too conventionally authoritative (dull), but nothing to try-hard or urban. It all depends on the shop. I'm opting for, 'Drop rubbish - I'll drop ya.' Only the other day I was discussing the well loved, much missed culture of adult-fearing youths and I do feel the man behind the till had the clout to back up such a deterrent. Harrah! Cane or belt boy?!

Can bad copy be good copy?

Copy isn't always 'copy.' Often the people that write the most eloquent and effective lines are those who aren't trained to do so for a living. This is not to be forgotten in a hurry. This little piece however is not effective for its wonderful wordplay. She's legible once you click on the image.

What's most endearing about the blurb on this sumptuous pack of exotically seasoned nuts is the comically phrased but heartfelt tone used by a writer trying his best at English. There are in truth nowadays so many blurbs on our edible products that the novelty has started to wear off. This example, perhaps somewhat due to the nature of the product, breaks the mould. The phrasing is overworked but the tone is individual and achieves believability by talking straight to the reader.

Audacious Internet Marketeer

Despicable infringement or guerilla marketing? O2 invest millions on Press and TV advertising, directing people to their website, only to be pipped at the digital post?! As always it's pertinent to consider context. O2 afterall are playing catch-up or more accurately, copycat. The introduction of this service, one which Mazuma, Envirophone and even obscure sellmymobile.com have been doing for some while, is frankly a 'you don't say..' moment. In my eyes Mazuma have played a smart, commendable defensive move; taking advantage of O2's oversight to buy all permeatations of the service search name. This is oh so sneaky but exactly the right move when a larger competitor tries to move in on your turf.

The Father of the 2p 'Penny Sweet'

Ye olde '99p rule'

Common sense tells us it shouldn't work, we'll never admit it does; but it does. £29.99 is essentially £30, we know this any day of the week but get us in a shop and we see 20's! True, we consumers are fair savvy to the adman's knack but faced with one of the oldest tricks in the book we lapse. Why? Perhaps it's the wallpaper effect; there around every corner! Okay not so much lurking but in shops. We know 99p so well, it's harmless, or is it?! Mwahahaha!

Maybe it's because we want to believe we're not spending as much, a sort of subtle lie we tell ourselves when we really want something; it's a very cheeky insight in the psychology of the customer. Which makes this minor tweak an age old, commercial gem.

Still that's absolutely no excuse for your £159.99's; when you get into the higher figures how much wool is actually left to pull over your would be consumer erm sheep? There stands to be much more gained at tactically made lower prices such as your £4.99, your £14.99 which is of the same ilk but in truth your £9.99 isn't fooling anyone is it?! However, the mother of all these price points, i must say is the 0.99p. That lil 'p' is so friendly, no? Anyway you get my gist, that is all.

The Next Generation in Price Point Psychology!!! That'll have your purse lips ajar.

Tiny Lens, Big World

After our brief textual communing the other day and viewing his blog 'My Life in Phone Photography' I've decided to follow in Ciaran's suit. Let's be honest, he sets a grand example. In particular his choice of topic struck a chord with me and no doubt many others with an eye for the world around us.

So following careful review of the stockpile in my own technological swiss-army knife (that means iphone for you Blackberry users) I managed to dig up some treats. Here are the fruits of my recent day to day observations, please enjoy.

The pic with the swan could of been better but I was battling through a deeply ingrained (not phobia) but distrust of swans. But hey, there you go.

Show me the shape of your he-a-r...bus.

Another routine calling for 'vital' stats. Did you fill it out? If you did, chances are you didn't think it would actually make a difference. You probably felt you were going through the motions...as you may think are the government? 

So the actual ads? Any semblance of an underlying positive motivation is neatly tucked away...'Help tomorrow take shape' in tiny copy.  Though eye-catching and technically in line with the strap, the art direction has no emotive resonance. 

The concept itself generates no audience connection, which i'm guessing you'll see i'm implying the need for... Cynical as the British public are I think the right way to go with this would have been to make people 'care' or more specifically believe in the role or results possible from the Census... And that would have been achieved if we thought the people paying for the advertising truly 'cared' or were any good.

The 'care' connection is lost..It's there in the strapline... But there's no emotion elsewhere. It feels like a chore...'let's get on the bus..cos i have to go to work.'  Their obligatory threat of 'avoid facing a fine,' is shamefully non-effectual except in it's grounding of the government's flight in colloquial tones. 'Drop it in the post.' So sad.

As usual i feel i've been extremely harsh; i like the purples, i honestly do..they add colour to a colourless ad.

Worst Case Scenario!

Bear Gryll, a true action-man, goes urban in his latest extreme self-help series, 'Worst Case Scenario,' Discovery Channel. What a fantastic change of direction this is for Mr Grylls...or lack there of in this particular episode.

Essentially Bear's advice when confronted with brake cut-out on a steep hill is to: hit as much as possible.. this will cause friction and most surely slow you down, scratch the shit out of your car on a railing for extra street cred,  finally ditch the car and go green. After watching this, though entertaining, I've come to the conclusion that Bear knows better than noone how to stop a car when faced with break failure.

Honestly though..what a guy! His nose-bleed advice, self-defense, lift escape and rabid dog escape are priceless. Definitely worth a watch for kicks.

Great wife beater track

Such a wonderfully sweet sounding misogyny...

Oh well, must be for her own good.

Ginsters: Good with food?

A couple of questions with this one:

1: Are you kidding? Real honest food..do one.
2: Who has given this ad five stars on Youtube?!

I saw this ...

And thought of this.

Which actually now makes me think Ginsters are doing a spoof, in which case the ad is alright.
It HAS to be a spoof with that tagline, doesn't it? Yup i'm decided. Ginsters have been astute and the piss-take nature of this ad surely appeals to their potentials consumers...Piss taking lorry driving beer louts. Mmm i fancy one.

BBC Extreme World Ad-

I saw this ad while in HK and thought it poignant. The voice-over narrates emotively through each succinct debate, brought to life by the human portrayal in each issue. Though clearly leading, imposing a sense of wrong and right, the ad engages the viewer's moral compass. Knowing there are wrongs to be righted tends to get peeps fired up. People pick a side and feel rewarded by their conscience..

Tricky grey areas are off putting but that's exactly what this issues are.. not clear cut.

Which is actually what the final line's about: 'The great divides in the world may not always be what they seem.'  It's quite subtle but brilliant... The whole ad works without this line, you'd still tune in. But this line throws in little bit extra for those true intellectuals..the promise of a real debate.

Be Wiser

Words are necessary...but i'm finding it hard to muster some original criticism; perhaps, not satisfied with being bereft of creativity itself, this ad is able to actively suck creativity out of everything and everyone? A bit much? You decide.

The...not quite saving grace...is the the phone number. 2-8-2000oo..

The efficacy of Alexander Meerkat was in the refreshing swill it gave the category...in its wake lies both a return to factory setting insurer ads, dull and forgettable and a series of embarrassing copy-kat ads; i'm not sure which is worse. The Be Wise values are there: nurturing, experienced insurance advice but they're lost it execution.

If i'm constructive i'd say that daytime spots offer a great advantage in that you have a more refined target audience, i'm guessing house-mums, and with lower quality ads for competition there's more opportunity to stand out. IF you get it right.

Who's looking at who?

Recently i've noticed the phenomena of ad that self-critique or intentionally highlight their own construction. Adverts which open a dialogue with the audience in a 'How am i doing?' manner.

In particular the Volvo ad with the an 'obscure product metaphor' made me chuckle. These ads consciously nod to todays 'ad savvy' audience; ad savvy this, ad savvy that..

It seems to me this approach has a number of potential effects:

Humour: 'It's funny cos it's true! I've noticed that about ads!' Creatives have used established advertising conventions/techniques as comedy fodder. Good humour is almost always based in genuine observation and it's a compliment to the audience's intelligence that they too have observed the ageing, tacky ad techniques. 

Trust- The ad has pointed out that ads try to persuade, some say 'trick', but this one's on your side. How refreshing to see so honest an ad. (is the audience reaction)

But they've given away the game! The smoke and mirrors are revealed? Not really, this ad is running commentary on the death-in-progress of bad, conventional advertising. You can only take being a target (audience) so much before you start to fire back. 

Instead of trying to find an angle around the 'target audience' it's now more important than ever to open innovative, direct dialogue with the 'customer'.

If you believe in all that…

Ultimately it's about respecting the viewer's intelligence, giving an element of control, a feeling of choice and people love giving their opinion.

And what this means and how it'll play out is the topic for another time.