Warning: Actual Size

 Just thought I'd dedicate this gargantuan photo to my beloved one and only pair of brogues.

What's in an (adopted) name?

Recently I've been hunting for a decent pseudonym for my photography work, cos i'm proper artsy n shiiit, I was looking for something which would match my 'style' and at the same time embellish it, sort of like a boast. This got me thinking that aliases can actually be pretty tactical and why for some reason...I WANT ONE! A stage-name for instance offers a sneaky opportunity to manifest a part of ourselves trying to get out (hmm, sounds rapey) and inherent in that a turning point. And so all kinds of maniacal excitement for one's potential success! Murr...I'm Batman, murr!!

However, it's not all villain snubbing prestige, there are dangers associated with the alias. Pseudonyms are after all a rebrand and when adopting a new name one must be calculating. Well a pseudonym really is just the same as any name or any brand...you have to guard both your image through appropriate behaviour and gauge how people perceive you.

You've only to look at the recent trend of reactionary ads wheeling out values such as 'good', 'simple' and 'honest' to see that people these days are sceptical of brands. Is it that people are fed up of brand names because they represent a facade? Maybe a little bit. But I think what's more accurate is that people distrust lying brands - when the product falls short of the promise. But, and this 'but' is slightly bigger picture...can the way people feel about one lying brand cause a distrust of brands in general, irrespective of portrayed values and with so many shifting brand USP's and brand 'values'...don't brands just come across as conniving? Yes and no..

Look at Dannone and Unilever, the corporations behind these master-brands proudly and religiously label each and every product ad with their name, the brand is a promise of integrity, the giving of one's word. This consistency of values from product to product allows Unilever to enjoy a clever brand-glow which it is now starting to redistribute through the labelling of newer products. So a pseudonym in the same way doesn't have to be a bad thing, it mustn't be something to hide behind but to proudly stand beside. What if as an individual I had many hobbies with multiple pseudonyms? As long as the core identity remained intact I think the diversity would the whole. What kind of schizophrenic balances that kind of shit? Most of us..

Essentially what I'm saying is it's nice to see a bit of consistency; fill a name with the expectation of good things and people will remember you for delivery. Don't muck about with some flashy, all-singing all-dancing super name. Pick something real and effective. In ironic conclusion, I'll probably adopt the photographer name Night Phox or Original Flavour...something dead contrived like, you know why? Cos I gots the goods, I gots the game yo! That or I'll just bail on the name as it goes up in smoke.

She's wet behind his ears

Borderlands...1...'Tardy' is not the word..sorry.

If like me you're one of those gamers who unfortunately has to pay their own rent, I believe we're called 'adult' then you won't have...Oh F-it, there's no excuse, if you're into your games then you'll most likely be more than aware of and completed Borderlands around 2 years ago. I however, am not like you...I brew games, I play them when and only when everyone else has moved onto the next big thing; they call me the 'anti-cool'. Never the less with Borderlands 2 looming and lurking in the distance there is still some merit to be savoured from this most tardy review.

For me, snobbily sifting through the mass of releases at arms length is the only way to deal with gaming in 'adulthood'. In general though I'm hot and cold towards my gaming, like one of those new oven/fridges, you know?! Anyway... Fallout 3 for example, I've been playing it for around a year and a half, never having bitten the bullet to complete the motherscrapper, a credit to the game yes, a discredit and shame upon my family? Mostly I'm biding my time for Mass Effect 3, the game to end all games, and possibly the universe. Borderlands was supposed to be just a stop-gap for me, a fix until greener pastures. But, I'm really loving it...

If you're one of those 21st Century gamers that's been casually suckered into shooter gaming through Call of Duty then in my view Borderlands will serve as an ideal next step. Diversity of gameplay? Let me break it down into terms digestible by the average male (that's you sucker): imagine for a minute that Call of Duty is Megan Fox...she is 'quite' hot, but has been for a while and she's become like soo boring...what does she really do?! Not much. Now, if I will be allowed to continue on this protracted, female metaphor consider that Borderlands is...Angelina Jolie...that bitch got bare kids, she can definitely cook and clean AND she fine, see what I've attempted to do here?

Now the comic-style graphics may not immediately be for everyone, but they set Borderlands apart from all the hyper-realistic trash prevalent in most games today and you may just learn to love them for their rough and ready simplicity. In terms of an immersive experience you couldn't ask for more, with over a dozen separate maps, progressively impressive weapons and tangible character skill developments this game just snowballs into awesomeness. Better still, played as a two-player co-op you'll be laughing for hours at the chaos you can cause fighting hordes of beasties in the scorched and mountainous terrain.

With just the right amount of tangible story progression in and amongst the myriad of side-quests, I can't really think if there's any room or need for improvement when the 2nd comes out.

So, if you have for some reason not played Borderlands yet...God, where have you been living, under a rock or something?!...grab it now and complete it just in time for Borderlands 2, which is expected some time from April 2012 onwards and which from early look-sees promises even more riotous ruckus.

Poking fun at the Competition

Sky Tagline: "Believe in Better"

Virgin Media Print Ad: "We 'believe' you've been bettered"